About Me

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Caledonia, Northern Illinois, United States
I am a Thirty-Something mother of four beautiful girls. My love for them, and the joy I've experienced during this crazy ride called motherhood, has inspired me to help make the dream of a family become a reality for couples through gestational surrogacy. I've proudly helped A&T, as their lives were forever changed when they welcomed a son in April 2010 and K&S were blessed as parents in Sept 2012 when we welcomed their twin boys. I completed my final surrogacy journey Nov 2015 when I helped a wonderful local couple J&W and Big Brother add their family with the birth of twin boys. I am so very fortunate to have wonderful relationships with each one of my surro-families and continue to share in their lives.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

I Would Die For That

This song came to mind today....thought I would share.

I like to listen to it now and then, reminds me why I am on this journey and what an amazing gift being a mother is and how excited I am to be doing what I am.

I can't wait to be a part of bringing this dream to life for my IPs.

I Would Die for That - Kelly Coffey

Friday, December 28, 2007

Expectations...some thoughts

I just thought I would share a few of my thoughts. I wanted to get them down in case I later wanted to reflect on them.

On the online surrogacy community that I belong to, there has been a lot of discussing about IP involvement and relationships at the time of delivery and beyond. It has left me thinking long and hard about my expectations and with contracts coming up soon I want to be sure I can express my feelings before we officially embark on this journey.

These are my thoughts......

I've learned in the last few days that I will need my time for closure after the birth. It isn't that I need time to grieve, I am excited beyond words to give A&T the baby they so want and can't wait for that moment, but I will likely need some time to say goodbye alone. It is important that we establish that I will be given access to the baby(ies) while in the hospital and I will be allowed a little time with him/her/them by myself as well.

I know my profile left things pretty open when discussing later involvement. I requested updates but tried not to sound to "high maintenance". Ideally I would love as much contact as possible, I like the idea of being open especially considering we live less than 2 hours from one another. I think I requested frequent early communication (and my IPs stated the same) that will taper off to less often as the child/ren grow. I do however want to know that if I am thinking of them and want to send of an email, make a call or plan a visit that my request for contact will be accepted warmly.

I am hoping to let our relationship develop spontaneously and naturally. I believe and agree with what others have said that if you weren't likely to be friends prior to the surrogacy that it may be hard to maintain a real friendship however, through The Rockford Moms Group I belong to and help organize, I have become great friends with women I typically wouldn't have probably been inclined to seek as friends. Our bond though motherhood has connected us. I think with that in mind our relationship could and hopefully will blossom into a friendship beyond delivery and last for years to come. However, if that connection isn't there I don't want to force it either.

As I said, there has been a lot of talk regarding this subject and everyones insight is really helping me understand what it is I want. I am realizing that although I don't want to sound needy that I do need to be upfront with my expectations to avoid any disappointment later on. Thanks again AAS.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Worked out fine & Lunch with IM

Good news is I woke up to a very "normal" AF so the appt today was a go. I was so relieved. As I said I took DD Brie with me as my travel companion on the 1.5 hour drive in. I posted before about my Chicago driving paranoia but it really wasn't to bad. The worst part was that we were driving right into the sun and with no windshield fluid to clean the filthy window there was a terrible glare and it was sooo hard to read street signs. Now that I know where I'm going though my future trips in should be a breeze.

I made it to the clinic 30 minutes early and they saw me right away. After giving a little blood meeting with our IVF coordinator and having a quick u/s I was on my way. Very easy and simple.

IM meet Brie and I at the office and she took us to this cute little place downtown called "Orange" with a unique menu and tasty fresh juices. My breakfast was super yummy and they make an orange coffee with great flavor. We talked and talked and talked for over two hours. I finally felt 100% comfortable being myself and I really enjoyed our conversation. This time with "just the girls" we got to chat more vs. previous meetings with husbands in tow when they pretty much dominated the conversation. I am so looking forward to more and more opportunities to spend time with my IM, she has a super sweet heart and is so nice.

On my drive home the RE office called to say my levels looked great and u/s was good too. She called in a RX for BCP that I need to start in the next day or two. I also had to contact my OB to see if I could get my cervical cultures (STD tests) done here to avoid driving all the way into the city for just some swab tests. I'm still waiting to hear back from my OB, they haven't been to cooperative with me so far during this surrogacy journey, the seem pretty lost in it all, so I may have to keep on them. I was hoping to change OBs but the one that I wanted and I had heard great things about doesn't take my insc. Bummer!! For now I'll stay with my past OB, maybe once we're closer to being preggo I'll consider changing.

After seeing my OB for the cultures the next step is meeting with the RE and having the hysterosonogram. This is scheduled for the 9th of Jan but I know they want my cervical culture results prior to going ahead with this so if my OB can't get results back by then it might have to be delayed.

Here's hoping all works out fine for that appt like today did in the end.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Ugh, she is a WITCH

Why do things have to be complicated when they shouldn't be?

So here all along I was worried that AF would be early and just the opposite happens...she was LATE!!! Ideally Sat/Sun would have been perfect for her arrival, why then did she wait till today (Tuesday) 4 days overdue? So here I am with an appt with the RE tomorrow morning which was supposed to be somewhere in the window of CD 2-5 and here we are just barely making it. I'm hesitant to make the 2 hour drive to Chicago when really I'm not gonna be on CD 2 however, I've been told that as long as the flow is "normal" I should be ok and results for the b/w should be accurate. :unsure:

I've decided I'll call the office in the AM and talk to the Dr on call before driving into the city. I don't want to call now considering it is C'mas night and I hate to bother anyone with a stupid cycle question.

If tomorrow doesn't work out I'm hoping I can find a sub for my daycare Thursday and that the RE can see me that day as well. If not were pushed back to late Jan since Friday is a no go for me and then we are smack dab in the middle of another weekend/holiday. I'm guessing they have Sat appts though....maybe that will work ok???

If tomorrow works IM and I are meeting up for lunch/coffee afterwards. I've decided to take my oldest DD Brie (13) along with as a travel companion and I'm excited to spend the day in Chicago with her and also have IM meet her too.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Woohoo, I'm not crazy!!!!

Well it is official, per the psychologist I am NOT crazy!! Woohoo!! I got a copy of the doctors summary of our visit, it is nice to have something in writing saying I am not insane. She wrote, "As part of the screening, she [Tiffany] took the MMPI-2 (personality test) and her profile indicates that she has no psychopathology and is functioning normally psychologically." Great news huh?

I'll be honest, I was beginning to get a bit worried. The agency and I have been in pretty close contact through this whole process talking at least once a week if not more often then that. Since taking the psych exam over three weeks ago I hadn't heard a thing and was beginning to wonder if they knew something that I didn't. I couldn't help but fret and be concerned that perhaps due to my results we weren't moving forward and nobody wanted to tell me. :hiding: I ended up sending a brief email yesterday and to my relief they said that my results had just come back and my info was being sent over to the clinic right away so we could continue on. Whew!!

So today I got to make some appointments with the RE but we may run into a problem. They want to see me sometime between CD (cycle day) 2-5, normally that would be no problem but of course AF (auntflow) is due basically tomorrow (12/21) and CD 2-5 puts us right in the weekend, Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Ugh! We went ahead and put an appointment on the books for Wednesday, Dec 26th in hopes that maybe with the holiday stress my period will be a day late. Keeping everything crossed that the witch doesn't show until Saturday or even better Sunday. If she doesn't hold off then everything is delayed till next month meaning I have to cancel all my appointments (including the one with the lawyer) and try again end of January.

If all goes ok and we move ahead now my first appointment will be for blood work. I have a second appointment two weeks later set for Jan. 9th to meet Dr. Tur Kaspa, have physcial, complete anything we aren't able to do on the first visit and to do the hysteroscopy.

We also have the appointment I mentioned above to meet with the lawyer on Jan 22nd. After all med exams are complete we'll start working on contracts which is another exciting step. If all works out things should be wrapped up the end of next month and we could start cycling in February.

A bit off topic but amongst all my appointments Jason has one as well for a vasectomy. He is not looking forward to it but I'm sure he'll manage just fine. It is a small price to pay to ensure we don't end up with anymore little ones of our own. This is the first time in my life I can actually 100% say I don't want have anymore least none that we have to keep.