I can't even believe it. Our 3rd beta brought the worst news ... it's a chemical. Basically it's a very early miscarriage before a heartbeat can even be detected. Sometime within the last few days the embryo stopped developing and the hCG hormone levels present in pregnancy began decreasing and the pregnancy was no longer viable. I don't even remember the number even though I had the nurse coord. repeat it. I just recall hearing 127 or something like that ... then blah blah blah ... stop meds, repeat labs Friday ... blah blah blah. So sad.
K heard the news from me but the delivery of those words were so impersonal - in a text. I hated sharing it with her that way but she's out of state at a conference and unable to take calls or listen to voicemails so earlier today she had asked that I text today's results when I got them. After I got the news myself I simply told her to call me when she could, which of course she knew wasn't good and asked what was happening. I could have sent a text saying a million times "I'm sorry" and it wouldn't have been enough.
Short term game plan ... stop meds and repeat bloodwork to be sure my hCG continues to decline. After that, I imagine it's a matter of getting up the courage to try again ... or at least I hope.
2 months ago