A friend I'd lost touch with that had stumbled upon my blog suggested I give a little background and explain why I choose to be a surrogate. I'm not sure I can even really put into words the passion I feel in my heart but I'll do my best to give a brief history.
For years I've thought it would be so very neat to be a surrogate but thought it was something women did for a friend or family member. I'd watched the Lifetime movies and TLC stories and was touched but I was content to wait to see if that moment ever came that someone I loved needed me.
Well the opportunity presented itself and I was very excited to think about the possibility. My brother began dating a woman who had a partial hysterectomy due to endometriosis and the conversation arose between my mom and brother about me being their gestational carrier "if" they ever chose to have children. I started doing some research despite the fact that neither my brother or his girlfriend ever spoke directly with me about it. Not long after this all came about we got pregnant with a child of our own and I didn't give much thought to it again. Our daughter was born, and as time passed my brothers request fizzled and seemed less and less likely to ever come to fruition.
About the time Isabelle was 6 months old I happened to stumble across an agency website and began to really ponder doing this for strangers. Jason, who wasn't very supportive of me doing it for my brother was strangely enough very supportive of pursuing the process with the help of an agency. We talked about it a few times and not long after that I was getting in touch with Zara at Family Source Consultants. Honestly I think at this point he was just happy I didn't want to have anymore of our own children.
Well...that is in a nutshell what lead me to this point and I'll continue by describing why I ultimately decided to seriously pursue my dream.
My motivation comes out of passion and a heartfelt sincerity for those that can't have children of their own and some of it comes from my own personal desires.
Over my years as a member and host at Parenthood.com, a popular parenting message board, I meet some wonderful woman struggling with infertility. I always felt so helpless, only able to offer prayers of comfort and words of hope. Being a surrogate is enabling me to be proactive and do what I can to ease the heartache of someone longing for a child. I am so passionate about that aspect of the journey and can't wait for the day that God willing, A&T are holding their new son or daughter. The emotional aspect of this journey is just amazing to think about.
From another perspective, I've loved the last 14 years of my life building a family and am a bit saddened to think that part is over but, at the same time have no desire to have more children. This opportunity is perfect for fulfilling that void left there. I have been fortunate to have easy and enjoyable pregnancies, even deliveries for that matter, and can't wait to go through it all again. I'd struggled for years with the thought of either Jason or I undergoing a sterilization procedure (permanent birth control) however, now knowing I get to continue this part of my life I am now 100% comfortable with it. We did just that almost two weeks ago, hubby had the "snip snip" and I can say for the first time I had no reservations knowing what the future holds.
Not only do I get to fulfill part of my yearning but financially this will make a huge impact on my family as well. When the compensation issue comes up some get a bad taste about it all but I try not to think of it that way, I know it can be touchy for some. When it all boils down the money is trivial to the big picture but it does certainly play a part in the experience. This will provide us the means for me to hopefully stay home with our girls for the next few years while putting away money for college and enjoying time as a family in ways we've never been able to before. I'll mention at this point that I'm already thinking about doing this again, perhaps multiple times which will ultimately help in acquiring those goals.
I could go on and on...there really is so much more on my heart that has prompted me to do this. I feel very honored to be a part of this. My IPs speak of how blessed they are to have me and how grateful they are but truthfully I feel equally blessed and am so excited to be doing this for them.
I can't wait to move to the next step, we've only got contracts left to do and then there is no stopping us.
This really is a dream come true for me, and I get to help someone else fulfill their life long dream too....it really is a beautiful relationship.
2 months ago