First thoughts from the Mom-to-Be (a post by "K")

Hi – it’s IM here, aka K.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about posting on Tiffany’s blog.  I decided to wait until Tiffany updated the look – the old one just didn’t feel right.  JK.  The truth is, we’ve had so many false starts over the past couple of years on this crazy journey to have a baby(ies) that I really wanted to feel like it was really happening before I posted anything.  The thought of telling the world how excited I was to finally have a baby, only to be followed up with a post about how disappointed I was it didn’t work out this time AGAIN was too much.  We’re not 100% out of woods until they’re born and healthy, but now that we’re 21 weeks and that my mom and S have made it official on Facebook, I guess it’s time for me to come out of the closet and show my face too. Believe it or not, I actually waited this long to tell people at work and the rest of my friends. Imagining how I explain that we’re using a surrogate (or a gestational carrier technically - thanks to Bill & Guilliana, everyone corrects me now) and whether or not people would judge me, gave me a ton of anxiety. I was hoping that someone would say, “You don’t look 5 months pregnant, only 4!” so that I could make them equally as uncomfortable as I felt.  But of course, no one said that, and not surprisingly, everyone is very excited for us.  Some brave souls have also asked a lot of questions, and I was really glad they did.  Most questions have been about why someone would do this for us, how we found her and what our relationship is like (how often we see/talk to each other, etc.).

I don’t want to spend a lot of time recounting the past and instead want to focus on the future and the craziness that’s ahead for us.  I’ve been occupying my time the past couple of months reading and researching everything I can get my hands on - trying to figure out where to put the babies, how we’re going to feed, bathe and clothe them, how S is going to adjust from 10-15 hours of sleep and if I’ll be able to close my mouth in time when I get peed on.  As Tiffany knows from my spreadsheets that I sent her to track our cycles, organization and planning is something I love to do.  I’m not naïve to think that because of all that, things will go smoothly when the babies come.  But it does calm my nerves in some weird and sick way, so I continue to read all 2,000,000 reviews on Amazon for every baby product ever made until I start going cross-eyed and finally make myself go to bed!  It’s totally normal to read 1,000 reviews on crib sheets, right???? I met my mentor from the Moms of Multiples group last week and she said she didn’t read one book before her twins came and just took everything in stride.  I was definitely born without that gene… By the time we got done with lunch, I felt like I owed her $100 for her counseling session on how to chill out and for subjecting her to all the research she never wanted to know about. Oh well, I had great sweet potato fries!

Given how long it’s taken me to finally make an appearance, you’d think I’d have all kinds of things to say.  It turns out, I’m not really sure what to say and I’m not that funny, so if you’re still actually reading this, I’m shocked!  I’m happy to answer any questions that anyone has and I promise not to take 12 more months to come back.  I don’t know much (other than excel and restaurants), but I do know that I am the luckiest person in the world to have found Tiffany.  As you all know because you’ve been following her blog or know her personally, she’s truly an amazing person (and she has a damn good oven!). I don’t know what we did to deserve her, but having known Tiffany, Jason and their kids now for about a year and a half, I can’t imagine going through this with anyone else.

With that, I will leave you with the thought that goes through my head about every five minutes – HOLY CRAP, WE’RE HAVING TWINS!!!!!