About Me

My photo
Caledonia, Northern Illinois, United States
I am a Thirty-Something mother of four beautiful girls. My love for them, and the joy I've experienced during this crazy ride called motherhood, has inspired me to help make the dream of a family become a reality for couples through gestational surrogacy. I've proudly helped A&T, as their lives were forever changed when they welcomed a son in April 2010 and K&S were blessed as parents in Sept 2012 when we welcomed their twin boys. I completed my final surrogacy journey Nov 2015 when I helped a wonderful local couple J&W and Big Brother add their family with the birth of twin boys. I am so very fortunate to have wonderful relationships with each one of my surro-families and continue to share in their lives.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

First thoughts from the Mom-to-Be (a post by "K")

Hi – it’s IM here, aka K.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about posting on Tiffany’s blog.  I decided to wait until Tiffany updated the look – the old one just didn’t feel right.  JK.  The truth is, we’ve had so many false starts over the past couple of years on this crazy journey to have a baby(ies) that I really wanted to feel like it was really happening before I posted anything.  The thought of telling the world how excited I was to finally have a baby, only to be followed up with a post about how disappointed I was it didn’t work out this time AGAIN was too much.  We’re not 100% out of woods until they’re born and healthy, but now that we’re 21 weeks and that my mom and S have made it official on Facebook, I guess it’s time for me to come out of the closet and show my face too. Believe it or not, I actually waited this long to tell people at work and the rest of my friends. Imagining how I explain that we’re using a surrogate (or a gestational carrier technically - thanks to Bill & Guilliana, everyone corrects me now) and whether or not people would judge me, gave me a ton of anxiety. I was hoping that someone would say, “You don’t look 5 months pregnant, only 4!” so that I could make them equally as uncomfortable as I felt.  But of course, no one said that, and not surprisingly, everyone is very excited for us.  Some brave souls have also asked a lot of questions, and I was really glad they did.  Most questions have been about why someone would do this for us, how we found her and what our relationship is like (how often we see/talk to each other, etc.).

I don’t want to spend a lot of time recounting the past and instead want to focus on the future and the craziness that’s ahead for us.  I’ve been occupying my time the past couple of months reading and researching everything I can get my hands on - trying to figure out where to put the babies, how we’re going to feed, bathe and clothe them, how S is going to adjust from 10-15 hours of sleep and if I’ll be able to close my mouth in time when I get peed on.  As Tiffany knows from my spreadsheets that I sent her to track our cycles, organization and planning is something I love to do.  I’m not naïve to think that because of all that, things will go smoothly when the babies come.  But it does calm my nerves in some weird and sick way, so I continue to read all 2,000,000 reviews on Amazon for every baby product ever made until I start going cross-eyed and finally make myself go to bed!  It’s totally normal to read 1,000 reviews on crib sheets, right???? I met my mentor from the Moms of Multiples group last week and she said she didn’t read one book before her twins came and just took everything in stride.  I was definitely born without that gene… By the time we got done with lunch, I felt like I owed her $100 for her counseling session on how to chill out and for subjecting her to all the research she never wanted to know about. Oh well, I had great sweet potato fries!

Given how long it’s taken me to finally make an appearance, you’d think I’d have all kinds of things to say.  It turns out, I’m not really sure what to say and I’m not that funny, so if you’re still actually reading this, I’m shocked!  I’m happy to answer any questions that anyone has and I promise not to take 12 more months to come back.  I don’t know much (other than excel and restaurants), but I do know that I am the luckiest person in the world to have found Tiffany.  As you all know because you’ve been following her blog or know her personally, she’s truly an amazing person (and she has a damn good oven!). I don’t know what we did to deserve her, but having known Tiffany, Jason and their kids now for about a year and a half, I can’t imagine going through this with anyone else.

With that, I will leave you with the thought that goes through my head about every five minutes – HOLY CRAP, WE’RE HAVING TWINS!!!!!


Danielle said...

What a great post! If you ever want to talk to someone who is raising newborn twin boys, just let me know and I can pass my IFs contact to Tiffany. You guys are going to be amazing parents, Tiffany speaks SO highly of you!
Wishing all 3 of you the best throughout the rest of this pregnancy and delivery. <3

Unknown said...

K, we have to talk!! I read the whole thing, I love excel (and restaurants) and often think HOLY CRAP WE'RE HAVING A SINGLETON!! DH says we sound alike. Congratulations on the twins and finding a fabulous GS!

Lisa said...

I did read the whole thing. ;-) Congrats, mama!

LandMsMommy said...

Glad you finally came out of lurkdome K! Loved it!

Liz said...

So fun to hear from you, K! I have twin boys and I have never known such joy. Congratulations!

Michelle said...

K...we too went through a surrogate. We had comments such as "wow you look great for being 6 mo.,etc.". I just responded with humor..." I know don't I look great for being 6 mo. And having triplets!". Their mouth would drop open! Sometimes I would explain we were using a surrogate and other times I would let their minds wonder. If you have any questions or need another IM's advice/thoughts, Tiffany can give you my info. Good luck with your journey! Your in good hands with Tiffany! ;)

Tiffany said...

I am an obsessive researcher too. I literally spent hours researching my KitchenAid before I bought it last month, and don't even get me started on how much time I spent on Amazon reading reviews before my daughter was born! I don't feel like my husband truly appreciates all of the work I put into every little decision I make. :-)

Jeni said...

I love that you wrote, K! And you're do have LOTS of great things to say, and you are DEFINITELY funny!

Thanks for writing and congratulations on the twins and finding such an amazing gestational carrier to help get them here.

Jesse said...

So neat to hear from the "other side" :) Wonderful post!! (and yes, I read the entire thing :))

Andrea Hendrickson said...

Wanna know something awesome?! My twins were WAY easier as babies/toddlers than my singleton- by faaaaaaaaaaaar!! Congratulations to you and your family; I am so glad you have the fabulous Tiff to carry your babies!

Carly said...

Congratulations! So happy for you! I've been following this blog since early this year! I'm also an IM, we're about 6 weeks behind you! Also with twins! I would love to chat with you!
Have a Suneday!