The Reveal

Ok here's a lil peek at the belly, hoping next week I'll have images to share of the little one that is occupying it. I've popped out quite a bit already for 13wks, I'd say the bump is comparable to my 18wk belly with our youngest daughter. Can't say that is all baby just yet though, a lot of what is sticking out is all the "stuff" my uterus has pushed out of the way. LOL Enjoy!

13 weeks

I've got vocal chords and my gender is visable. I weight one ounce and breath!

Not much new to report since the last update. I've been feeling ok, still having some brown spotting here and there but nothing alarming. Just anxiously waiting for next Monday's appointment and ultrasound. I think I may be feeling little flutters in my tummy but I have to sit very still and concentrate to feel anything, two things I rarely get time to do before bedtime. LOL

Update to ER Visit

I called my OB this morning but today is her day off so the OB on call said to rest, drink plenty of fluids and follow up with her tomorrow since the bleeding seemed to have stopped and we already had a 2pm appt set. They said they'd call over to the ER and get my records from last night for her to review. We'll a few hours later I got a call back saying they did want to see me today after all b/c the ER report was vague and the u/s info didn't really shed much light on anything...so I got to go in for an u/s this afternoon.

Basically what is going on is what lil placenta Baby A (the one we lost) began with is starting to separate from the uterine lining/wall. So this is the cause of the bleeding and it could go on for awhile or it could just stop. We are hoping it will still just reabsorb but he explained that my body may, but hopefully will not, try to expel it causing a miscarriage which could put Baby B at risk. We are not in the clear just yet even though Baby B looks good, he was honest and said we could still have complications and lose the pregnancy altogether. He did mention multiple times that Baby B is strong and healthy, heart tones were great, measuring a day ahead and looking good. I'm on pelvic rest and lifting restrictions but he said to go about my normal life as much as possible. I might continue to bleed but he said if I have hemorrhage like bleeding or extreme cramping to go to the ER or call the office ASAP. Unfortunately at only 12 wks there isn't much they can do so now we just wait and see.

It was reassuring to see Baby B and know s/he is doing fine but it is still scary that s/he is at risk. It's weird that for the last two weeks I've been grieving Baby A and now I actually just want the non viable embryo to go away and stop causing me/us this grief and uncertainty!! I go back in a lil over a week for a 14wk appt and u/s, lets pray all is well between now and then.

So that is the latest...continue to keep us in your thoughts please.

ER Visit

Well I ended up in the ER last night. Just before dinner time I bent down to do something and felt a gush, when I stood up another gush. I went to the bathroom and sure enough bright red blood. I had some brown spotting/bleeding the night before so when I called the OB yesterday I was instructions to go to the ER if I soaked a pad in an hour but who really wants to wait around for that! It was already 7pm and I knew if it got worse I didn't want to be sitting in the ER overnight so I called my mom and we headed over there. Of course the wait was forever, thank goodness my mom was there to keep me company. I finally went back for an exam and cervix looked good and she saw very little sign(s) of bleeding...by this point it was back to the brown again. I went back for an u/s and the tech didn't really show/say much the entire time and the screen was totally turned away from me. After 15 long minutes with my heart racing she turned the screen to me and said, "See a nice lil heartbeat". What a relief! I asked if she could still see the other embryo/sac and she could, in comparison to the thriving baby the sac still looked quite big. The ER is forwarding my u/s scan to the OB office and I'm supposed to follow up with her to get the results today.

So the news is good, baby is looking fine. My poor IM, I left her a VM around 7:00pm to let her know I was going to the ER, then a txt around 10:00pm to let her know baby was fine. I didn't hear from her which I thought was odd...it was because she was on a flight to NY. She called me at 12:40am once she landed and turned her cell back on, I was still up and we talked for a bit and I reassured her I was fine and baby looked good too. She apologized for leaving town, she said she thought booking this work trip would be ok at this point and time since we'd be in the 2nd trimester and I told her that her kid is already trying to ruin plans...isn't that what kids do?!?!

12 weeks

Today marks the end of the first trimester...wow that went by fast. I am welcoming the second trimester and all that comes with it. I have been feeling really good, energy is up and my appetite is back. A lil baby bump has begun which right now is a good sign that baby is growing. I am really looking forward to feeling movement, hopefully in the next couple weeks. This has always been the confirmation to me that everything is ok and I can't wait for that reassurance on a daily basis.

I think the mood right now with all of us is cautiousness. IM shared with me her feelings about the loss of the one twin, she is upset with herself for getting too excited about what could have been and leaving herself vulnerable and open to disappointment. I am hoping that our next OB visit will bring a fresh view of things and we can all feel renewed after seeing this lil one on u/s again thriving and growing as s/he should. Until then we just pray and have faith that all is well.

11 weeks

I'm an inch long and a fetus now! I've got fingernails and hair now too.

Well it is taking some time to adjust to the news we received Friday but doing well considering. Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts and prayers over the last few days. It's just hard when you've got yourself all psyched up and then something like this happens. Although I was looking forward to the experience since I've never carried twins and selfishly was enjoying the attention ... carrying a singleton doesn't effect the grand scheme of what I'm doing here and our one baby is still a miracle just the same. It's just taking a lil time to re adjust to thinking of this as a "regular" pregnancy.

I'm really excited about our next visit in three week, A&T are both going to be able to make it and I'm taking a personal day to spend some time with them. I'm hoping I can talk my OB into another u/s...originally she began to say we would have one next time but then corrected herself saying we should be able to hear the h/b by doppler. Maybe I can talk her into another peek so that they can see all is good with their thriving baby and to give them some reassurance. If she won't wiggle us on to the u/s schedule we'll have to wait till 20wks b/c IPs decided not to do the NT scan. I don't want the to have to wait that long so I'll see what I can do.

Hoping for nothing but good reports from here on out. Thanks again everyone.

Disappointing Update (but smiling)

I'll get right to the point. Today's u/s at 10 weeks 4 days showed that Baby A stopped developing at 8 weeks (2.5 wks ago). There is no reason or explanation why.... just one of those things. The other baby looks beautiful, so right now although this is sad news for us we can't help but just be thankful. Baby (B) was active, lil arms moving and legs kicking. S/he has a strong and steady heartbeat of 170bpm and was measuring 10w5d. Please say a prayer that all remains well with A&T's sweet lil one.

I can't really speak for my IPs right now but although the news is disappointing it is not devastating. We are still expecting a miracle next spring and couldn't ask for more. The doctor explained that since this has been going on for over two weeks now I likely won't have any bleeding, the embryo that didn't continue developing will be reabsorbed and will not pose risk to the remaining fetus.

The next visit will be in three weeks unless IPs decided to do the NT scan, then we will be seen sooner.

Thanks in advance for your prayers and thoughts.

10 weeks

Time is really going by fast, can't believe we are nearing the end of the first trimester already. Not much has changed. I still can't believe how lucky I've been...besides some minor symptoms I've been feeling pretty good. The fatigue is probably the worst of it, it's a total different feeling then just being tired. I'll be going strong and feeling good and then it's like I hit a brick wall and MUST take a short break. If a break isn't possible I find myself zoning out and staring off into space but that doesn't last long, the spell is usually broken by someone either yelling "Mommy" or "Miss Tiffany"!!

I've officially broken out the maternity wardrobe. I keep asking myself, "This "gut" wasn't here two weeks ago right?" I'm certain it wasn't and Jason and some friends have pointed out that it is there now so I'm not imagining things. ;) I plan to take some pictures today and hoping to take them each week or two to show IM how her lil babes are growing. :)

Yesterday was my last day of meds...woohoo!! Since my ovaries were suppressed prior to transfer my body did not begin producing estrogen and progesterone as it normally would when a woman ovulates. I've been taking synthetic hormones for the past 10+ weeks but now the placenta(s) are producing enough of these hormones on their own that I can stop medications. It had become a ritual to take them three times a day, it is strange to not have to worry about it anymore.

The first OB appt is right around the corner now, Friday morning. I'm nervous to meet the new doctor(s), I've heard lots of good things and am very confident that moving practices was the right thing to do but it is still a hard choice after being with my previous OB for 10 years. We'll also be getting an u/s at this visit. Can't wait to see these two doing flips and moving their lil arms and legs about. So excited to get a peek at them again.