Here is the latest

Well not much news to share just yet, hopefully we'll know more in the coming weeks but looks for now that we are moving ahead and gearing up for a Jan/Feb cycle. IPs had an appt with the RE Friday. The RE basically said the odds were the same as last time - IM responded ok to the meds and things were great with me - so it would be the same and we would try again. Right now the schedule will be for me to start BCP with the beginning of my next AF and then Lupron mid Jan, that is when IM would start her BCP and we'd both begin monoitoring and would be on track for a mid February transfer. I'll know more about dates when we get our cycling calendar from the clinic.

IPs are very fortunate b/c they have insurance that will support 4 retrievals/transfers total (and 2 additional if one of the cycles resulted in a live birth). They feel good right now about taking another round with IMs eggs so that is the next step. The RE did mention (as we had assumed he would) that they might consider donor eggs due to IMs advance maternal age and that stats had been close to 90% with donor eggs. They are not there yet in that decision, but it is something to consider. I won't be a TS (traditional surrogate) as DH has very strong reservations against it but I'm willing to continue moving forward with a donor if that what they decide.

After the failed cycle I was planning not to get to overly excited. The disappointment last time was not fun but I can't help myself, I'm so looking forward to giving this another shot and hopefully this will be it for us. I'm keeping fingers crossed that we have a smooth cycle without any speed bumps that results in a BFP!

Thanks for your prayers....

...but unfortunately beta results were negative. We are looking forward to the next cycle after the holidays.

I can't thank all of you enough for your positive thoughts and prayers.

More waiting......

Turns out the clinic never faxed over my order, I had a hard copy of my own so my OB/GYN still did the b/w but had they received the fax in advance they would have notified us that they don't do lab work STAT (the clinic requested it by 1pm today). I called two other labs and one said results tomorrow also, the other said maybe by 6 pm but likely not till tomorrow either (due to the snow we got overnight). There was the option of the hospital lab but I didn't allow myself enough time for that venture this morning and my daycare sub couldn't stay that long. I ended up just having the b/w done by my OB/GYN so, we'll hear something tomorrow.

Prayers are always appreciated.

Now we wait (transfer complete)

Yellow/Green - check
Pineapple - check
French Fries - check
Good luck charm - check
Perfect lining - check
One grade 1 embie - check
BFP.......... I'll let you know soon!!!!!!!

Transfer went great today!!! Our IFV coord said my lining was "beautiful". Although I never did get a final measurement it looked super fluffy on the u/s. As you know we had only one lil embie to transfer but it was looking great, 6-8 cells and they helped it along with assisted hatching to give it the best chance. IM and I held on to the good luck charms she got us both, held hands and shed a couple of tears as we watched the little "starburst" on the u/s as the embryo found it's way to it's new comfy cozy home.

DH and I spent the day hanging out with IPs, they took us to get Chicago style hotdogs where I got some yummy fries of course. We then headed to a quieter coffee shop for some pastries and had a few hours to chit chat before we headed out on our way.

IPs decided they don't want to know prior to BETA, so since she may peek in here......you're all gonna have to wait too!!!!

Hoping the little button is getting snuggled in....BETA is Monday, December 1st.

It Only Take One

We have an embryo!!!! Woohoo!!!!!

We'd love to have had both eggies fertilize for transfer but we are estactic to have even one make it at this point. Still a lot that could happen in the next 48 hours but the prayers and good thoughts seem to be working so keep them coming.

Transfer is set for Thursday morning. Grow Embie Grow!!!!

Keeping All Crossables Crossed

I just got a txt from IM, she is recovering and groggy but had good news to report ..... two eggs were retrieved which is great considering there were only 2 follies. Now the suspense of waiting to hear if either of them fertilize. Keep your good thoughts and prayers coming. Transfer will be Thursday if we have an embie or two to work with after the next couple of days.

I'll update when I know more.

Dates are Set

Well IM still only has 3 follies (RE was hoping for 10 minimum). Two are measuring up nicely, the other is on the small side and likely won't mature. My IPs discussed it and decided to move forward regardless. IM will be triggering over the weekend and the egg retrieval will be Monday (11/17). Between the two good follicles there may be 0-4 eggs (a follie sometimes may not have an egg at all or may have one or two). Usually only a percentage of the eggs retrieved will fertilize and then the embryo(s) is monitored and assessed for 3 day before transfer. We are keeping fingers crossed that after retrieval and fertilization we have an embryo or two to work with. Our odds aren't great but there is still a chance so we remain hopeful. We are just praying for that one embie, it only takes one! Looks like if we get an embryo or two to work with transfer will be Thursday (11/20).

Keep us in your thoughts, we can use any prayers you can send our way.

Praying for Eggies

Here's a lil update, we could use your good thoughts.

Last Friday IM's estorgen levels were on the low side and as I mentioned before there were only 5 follicles, the IVF coord said they'd like to see at least 10. Then at yesterday's check there were only 3, the other two were gone and her b/w was consistent with what they saw. She's continuing meds and the next check will be Friday and she was told the Dr. will go over the statistics and odds then.

We know it only takes one and are hopeful with some time there will be more follicles/eggs to work with. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers that we will have a successful retrieval.

More news coming Friday.

Things are coming along

I had another monitoring appointment today. I was pleasantly surprised to run into IM at the office, we didn't have plans to meet this time but she had an appointment right before mine so we had some time to chit chat in the office while I waited my turn.

IM's check went well, she has 5 follicles right now and are hoping to see a few more pop up in the coming days, ideally 10 would be great.

My bloodwork and u/s went good too. Ovaries were clear and my lining was at 7.43mm, we want to see it get to at least 8mm so with a little less than two weeks to go that shouldn't be a problem. What is important is they see a triple stripe which indicates a good "landing pad for the embroys" and that is looking fine. Estradoil level was 387 which she said was great so my instructions are to continue with 5u Lupron daily and 2mg Estrace 3x a day.

IM's next monitoring appointment is Tuesday so I'll hear from the clinic then when my next appointment will be and soon we'll begin to get confirmed dates of when everything will take place.

Not much longer now

I hope the TWW goes this quickly!! Can't believe we are just a lil over 2 weeks away from baby making.

I had an appointment yesterday and all went well. I got a little confused on my med protocol and took 2mg Estrace yesterday morning not realizing I wasn't supposed to take it till after getting verbal instructions following my appointment but all ended up ok. There was also a miscommunication with the clinic regarding my consents. I was instructed to have them in my file prior to transfer but now they are saying they should have been there prior to starting meds so, Jason and I rushed off to get them notarized and he is faxing them over today.

IM and I had a very nice chat over breakfast, it was exciting to finally get to talk about moving forward, it is all a reality now and not just a plan anymore. We had plenty of time to talk about family and work and all those things too. I always enjoy having time with her.

IMs meds will begin next week and as she is monitored we'll get a more concrete idea of when her ER will be and from there a date for when we'll be transfering but for now the tentative date is November 19th, not long now!

Easy Peasy Apple Cheesy

Well that was no big deal. The Lupron injection was super simple and no problem at all. So far no side effects either but we'll see if that remains true after it builds up in my system. Beware I may become an emotional hormonal mess in the coming days/weeks.

I'm excited about my next monitoring appointment coming up on the 31st. IM and I have back to back appointments so we'll be able to grab a bite to eat and visit for a bit while I'm in the city. It's been a few months since we last saw one another and on our last visit we were both stressed and frustrated by how slowly everything was moving, this time we'll really have something to look forward to and be excited about.

Meds Arrived

FedEx kindly dropped off my medications this morning. After reading through most everything I think I've got a good handle on what everything is for. Our protocol calls for me to begin Lupron tomorrow night, this is an injectable but the needle is fairly small and it is only a subcutaneous injection right in the tissue surrounding the belly button so it shouldn't be to bad. Lupron is used to surpress my normal cycle. I'll continue BCP for a few days more and the other meds are parental vitamins, Estrace; an estrogen supplement that will hopefully help me achieve a nice fluffy uterine lining, a corticosteroid which have been shown to increase IVF results, an antibiotic to take just before transfer to ward of any infection, and a progesterone supplement (suppository) that will be used just prior to and for several days/weeks following our transfer. No dread PIO shots for me, my bum is so very excited about that!

I remember a surro before posting pics of her meds and it was quite intimidating. Mine all laid out doesn't look so bad...hopefully all will go well and side effects will be minimal. Keep your fingers crossed and I'll let you know how the first injection goes tomorrow.

Here we go!!!

I got a call from our IVF coordinator today and she reviewed our portocal with me. I'm taking BCP now and will continue to do so until 10/26 (only active pills) and will start Lupron on 10/22. Let the fun of injectables begin! My next monitoring appointment will be on Halloween 10/31 and at that time if all checks out we'll move on to Estrace 3 times daily. Right now we are on target for a mid November transfer.

Getting nervous, anxious and excited and hoping soon for more than just butterflies in my tummy!!!

Moving Right Along (Again)

Well AF made her appearance on Monday so I called the clinic to relay all my cycle dates. They wanted me to come in for a baseline u/s and bloodwork so I made the trek into Chicago today for a quick appointment. All went well and later this afternoon I got a call from our IVF coordinator, my tests came back "ok", but I did have elevated E2 (Estrodial) and a 15mm follicle on my left ovary. Honestly I don't know what all that means but from what I understand I'm still ovulating on the BCP. ?!?!?! DH is "snipped" so I'm not worried about that but I'm a little baffled why that would be since I've been religious about taking my pills but didn't ask any questions. So, the RE changed my bcp regimen and wanted me to start a new pack right away today so I ran out to the pharmacy pronto to refill my RX to get going on that.

After Dr. reviews everything with IM and gets all her cycle info we'll be rolling and hopefully getting that coveted cycling calendar we've been waiting so long for.

Wonderful News!!!!!

I am just so excited to have such a wonderful update. IM's test results came back and we have medical clearance!!!! I am so relieved and elated for A&T, I know we still have a long journey ahead of us but this is a big step for us and the first positive one for several months so we couldn't be happier.

Next thing for us to do is get a cycling calendar from the clinic and find out when everything starts. I have a couple lose ends to tie up here like getting a consent form signed and notarized and returned to the clinic before transfer and hopefully finding a lab that can do my bloodwork and u/s here in the Rockford area vs. driving into the city for them but that should all come together pretty easily.

A&T are going to be in touch with the agency and clinic so we will get this ball rolling.

Woooohoooo ~ It is baby making time!!!!!

So we wait

I got an update from IM today. Looks like we will continue to stay on hold. After testing blood sugar levels again the news is still not great, her levels were elevated yet and even higher than before despite being on meds to lower them. The primary has given her a new medication and instructions to monitor her blood sugar and she will follow up again the end of September.

Think Positive Thoughts

The latest is that we are "fingers crossed" on our way to clearance. IM has an appointment again with her primary Tuesday (8/26) to review labs that will be drawn the previous Friday. If the glucose levels are under control we'll get the green light. I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic since we've been down this road before thinking we were good to go and then....ugh. Please think positive thoughts for us.

On Hold

I suppose I should have updated this a week or so ago. Like I mentioned before, IM had to seek clearance from a primary physician because of elevated blood sugar before the RE will begin cycling with us. She had her initial appt a month or so ago, then a follow up to review the results. The PP perscribed a couple perscriptions and now IM has another follow up visit with the PP tomorrow (7/31). We are hopeful that there will be good news and "A" will get the clearance we need but the Dr. did allude to possibly wanting to monitor her for a bit. I'll keep ya posted!!

Face to Face

Well we got to meet with the RE yesterday...can't say that things are gonna move along any faster now though. He didn't make things any more clear for us so we still feel a bit helpless when dealing with the clinic and the pace in which things are moving. Of course as I've mentioned before our big hitch right now is IM's most recent test results so we are awaiting more news. We did get some great news though that her FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) levels looked good this time around, these are very important in regards to the ER (egg retreival) so we were excited to hear that.

IM and I both had our injections training, at least that was a proactive step in making this all happen. My meds should be rather simple, just a few oral ones (estrogen, antibiotics) and Lupron will be the only injectable. No dreaded PIO for me...we will be doing suppositories. My bum is gonna be thankful for that. IM however has several injectables, I believe four, so the heating pad will become her friend for sure.

The highlight of the visit to Chicago of course was that "A" and I were able to enjoy a very nice lunch together. It was so nice to sit down and talk face to face again...it has been so long. Keeping fingers crossed that we will be seeing one another more and more frequently over the coming month or so.

Baby Steps

Well we've been running into one speed bump after another the last couple weeks. AF visited me this past Monday but due to my CBC results coming in as having low hemoglobin we didn't proceed with the baseline. My OB/GYN put me on an additional iron supplement to take daily so hopefully this issue will be resolved quickly.

Besides that IM had to follow up with her primary physician because of some concerns with boarderline high blood sugar. She underwent some more blood test to further investigate and rule out anything that will interfere with cycling. Those results won't be in until Wednesday (7/16) when she follows up with the doctor again. We are hoping for good news so keep your fingers crossed for us.

In the meantime, IPs have a visit to the clinic schedule for this Tuesday (7/15) to sign consents, go through injections training and to meet with the RE. We thought it might be beneficial for me to attend too so I'll be meeting them that day in Chicago. I'll also finish up my consents and do the injection/med training as well and we'll have the opportunity to all sit down with the RE and map out what is to happen next. Seems like every time we finish with a step that we think has brought us to the point of cycling they throw something else at us we need to do. We've had some frustration with the clinic only giving us as much info as needed for the phase we are at so it is hard to know what it to come. Hopefully after Tuesday we'll all have a good idea of where we stand and what is left to check off the list before we get this show on the road.

I'm very excited about seeing A&T again...seems like it has been forever. We correspond by email every week or two...depending on what is going on at the time sometimes it is daily...but it has been months since we've seen one another. The last time was December!!! It will be nice to reconnect in person.

Well...hopefully there will be more news to share soon. "A" mentioned in a recent email that we will continue to take "baby steps" so I've adopted that as my new motto. It helps keep me focused on what the goal is here and not get discouraged or frustrated by the set backs. We are on our way....baby steps!!!!

Cycling Soon!!!!

Ok, things are coming together. I talked with the RE's office today and looks like we will be cycling very soon. I need to have two blood tests done, a CBC and glucose test, so orders are being sent to a local lab and I need to set those appointments up.

Everything else is ready to go pending IM's labs/tests come back A-ok. I'll be calling the clinic again on CD1 (early July) and if IM is ready to go and we are synchronized I'll go into the clinic for my baseline u/s on CD3 and to learn all I need to know about meds and injections. If IM and I aren't synched up we will have to do another month of BCP to work it out but hopefully that won't be necessary. I "think" we are looking at late summer transfer but we'll have a better idea in the coming weeks.

Ready to cycle....or not ?!?!?

I'm gonna vent here for my IPs and myself.

Well, like I mentioned before the clinic now tells us that IM (and IF) need to have new labs because their previous ones have expried. I think we are all frustrated by this since the clinic didn't make IM aware of this until we were ready to cycle. She's been in contact with them several times checking in on the next steps and they basically said to stay on BCP and call when contracts were finished. The wouldn't give much more info than that until we signed on the dotted line. It's apparent no one ever pulled her chart or we would have known about the expired labs months ago which could have easily been done while we waited on contracts. UGH

I guess all that doesn't matter much though because when IM was bringing me up to speed she also relayed to me that the clinic is not cycling with any patients end of June early July because they are taking vacation!!! That is right when we'd be starting to cycle!! UGH UGH Guess we'll have the month we need to get those labs done now. UGH UGH UGH

My heart goes out to my IPs, I hate that something that should be so natural and "simple" has to be so complicated for them. Their only desire is to have a baby and there are so many factors and cirumstances that go into the process of IVF and surrogacy that it really isn't fair. A&T...sending you both big {{{HUGS}}}. It will all come together and happen soon we'll just have to continue being patient.

Getting somewhere

The clinic called to touch base with me Thursday. I'm supposed to let them know when CD1 comes along so that we can work out a med protocol and schedule, I'm expecting AF sometime around June 7th. IM has to go in for some new labs because during our wait her old ones expired but other than that we are ready to cycle!!!

Waiting, waiting, waiting.......

Not much else to report besides that. Contracts are done, now just waiting on a cycling calendar from the clinic. I'll update when there is more news but for now we wait.

Baby Mama

As a surro myself, I really hope people will see this movie was obviously written for the comedic effect and to be humorous because the portrayal of the entire surrogacy process was pretty inaccurate.

I was disappointed, I wasn't really miffed because I knew they portrayed Amy Poehler's character Angie (SM) to be ignorant and immature but I was hoping for it to have a "feel good" ending. You know, where you walk away touched by the journey they went through together which just didn't happen for me. Everything ends up ok in the end ... she [Tina Fey/Kate] gets her baby and all but it totally removed the best and most amazing part of surrogacy...helping create a beautiful family. DH wanted to remind me it was a comedy not a drama but I didn't like that it left me feeling unfulfilled.

Time for Signatures

FedEx just dropped off the final contracts to my front door. Hoping to get them signed tomorrow night while Jason and I are visiting friends so that they can be our witnesses. I'll be putting them in the mail first thing Monday morning and then off to A&T they go.

Overview of the Cycling/Transfer Process

For some of you with questions of what is involved in cycling and transfer, I thought I'd share with you the details that go into this process. The protocols vary but this information is pretty accurate in describing all that it entails. ~ Tiffany

The surrogate and the egg donor (intended mother) synchronize their cycles, usually with birth control pills. About 14 days into the birth control pills, usually both surrogate and egg donor will start Lupron. Lupron is a subcutaneous (just under the skin) injection to shut down the bodies normal hormone production so the doctors can control your cycle and be sure the surrogate's uterus is ready to receive the embryos at the exact time for the best chance of success.

The surrogate is usually about a week or so ahead of the egg donor to ensure her uterus will be ready when the eggs are retrieved and fertilized, and because they can keep the SM in a holding pattern for up to 2 weeks once her uterine lining is at optimum.

When your menstrual cycle starts while on Lupron, your Lupron dose is usually decreased by half and you start adding Estrogen replacement to the mix (in the form of pills, patches, or shots depending on your doctor). Some doctors have you take other medications as well (Dexamethasone to suppress male hormones to increase implantation, antibiotics to guard against any infection that might have gone undiagnosed, etc.)

The egg donor starts on injectable fertility hormones on her cycle day 3 to stimulate her ovaries to produce several eggs as opposed to just 1 or 2. Fertility hormones continue anywhere from 7 to 12 days depending on the egg donor's response to the hormones. The egg donor is checked about 3 times a week via ultrasound and blood tests to determine her response to the drugs.

Once the follicles are the right size (about 18-20mm) she is given an HCG shot which induces an LH surge which also matures the eggs. 36 hours after the HCG shot, they do the egg retrieval. Up until this time, the date/time of your transfer is in limbo.

The eggs retrieved are fertilized with sperm from either the Intended Father or a sperm donor and incubated for 2-5 days. Lupron usually stops the day before egg retrieval. Progesterone replacement (most often in the form of intramuscular injections, but sometimes with suppositories or Crinone gel) starts the day of the retrieval and continues until the 12th week of pregnancy or a negative pregnancy test. Estrogen replacement also continues until the 12th week of pregnancy (when the placenta takes over hormone production). Because you were on Lupron and your natural hormones were suppressed, you need to take external sources of these very important hormones in order to maintain any pregnancy that occurs.

When the fertilized embryos are at the proper stage, they are loaded into a special syringe with a thin flexible catheter at the end. The catheter is inserted thru the cervix into the uterine cavity (sometimes with the assistance of abdominal ultrasound to ensure EXACT placement of the embryos) where the embryos are "injected". Most doctors will only transfer three to four 2-day old embryos or two 5-day embryos. Any unused embryos are frozen for a future attempt if a pregnancy doesn't result from the fresh cycle. Bedrest of anywhere from 2 hours to 3 days is usually required immediately following embryo transfer.

Hopefully after all this a pregnancy is achieved, if not the process starts all over again.


Information summary from http://www.surromomsonline.com/articles/gs_process.htm

Here we go!!!

I got a call from my lawyer today and contracts are a go. We got them worked out to where we are all satisfied with the agreement and ready to move forward. The paperwork went in the mail today and will first be sent to IPs to sign, then Jason and I and then back to the lawyers.

Once that is all taken care of we'll give a call to the clinic and get to work on cycling and planning a transfer.

Can't wait to start this journey with A&T, I can't even describe how excited I am. Here we go!!!!

We're getting there

Well after a few emails and a voicemail I finally heard back from my lawyer (she was out of town). I guess A&T's lawyer overlooked the email that was sent by my lawyer with our revisions so she just looked at them this past week. From what I've been told she reviewed everything with A&T, contacted my lawyer to clarify a few things and were satisfied with the revised contract and now on to the final draft.

What does that all mean....really nothing. It won't be official until we sign on the dotted line so until I come across that email saying...PLEASE SIGN and RETURN I'm not getting too excited. However, once that is all said and done we contact the RE to get a cycling calendar. We're getting there.

This part is a little nerve wracking

We are doing contracts right now and it is a nerve wracking process. The lawyer sent me a copy of the revised contract and I approved it to be passed on to A&T for their review and hopefully their approval.

This part is a bit stressful partially because of all the "what ifs" that are brought up; the possibility of failure, the medical risks, the financial arrangements, etc but to me it all seems so impersonal too. IM and I haven't been exchanging emails much recently, I know I personally feel a bit "in limbo" until we sign on the dotted line...wonder if she has that same felling? I've been so psyched about my journey from the emotional aspect and contracts seem to temporarily drain some of that excitement because everything is so serious.

I can't wait to be done with this phase and on to the "fun stuff".

Contracts Finally

Feels so good to be moving along again. Jason and I met with our lawyer today to discuss the agreement and all went well. There were some revisions to present to intended parents but all and all most everything looked really good.

My lawyer is hoping to have a draft finished come the end of next week to forward on to A&T for their review so it may be weeks yet before anything is final but still feels good to be doing something again.

Ok, moving ahead again

We are moving ahead finally after being stalled there for about 2 months. IPs attorney FINALLY has an agreement for us to review. My IF had a phone conference with their lawyer Monday and finalized some things and it has been sent to my attorney now for us to go over.

My lawyer is sending me a copy to review and get familiar with before our appointment next week one Tuesday (3/4). Hoping things go smoothly from here on out. I'm pretty sure I have one or two things to add to the contract that I don't think are there already. That will mean it has to go back to them for approval but I'm hoping it doesn't take to long to finish things up.

I'll have more to update next week.

No news to report yet

Late update here but we didn't have our meeting with the lawyer on Wednesday (2/13) as planned.

All along we've been setting up appointments in hopes that things would be done on my IPs end of the agreement and each time we've scheduled prematurely. I guess the latest is they have a contract drawn up and in hand to review and met with their lawyer on Monday (2/18) to discuss any changes/concerns. We are pretty positive from there we are good to schedule an appointment but are thinking we may just wait until my lawyer has received it before we set anything up.

Seems like that is the best option since I'm getting frustrated with making appointments, Jason requesting time off work and I make arrangements for our kids and daycare kids for nothing. I know it will come together, just tired of waiting and the set backs.

IM emailed me the other day and she is anxious too. I think what is making me most anxious is although we never got an official timeline I've had it in my head for months that we'd be looking at a Feb/March transfer. Well here we are with half of February gone and nothing scheduled yet...ugh!! I really just want to get the show on the road!

I was checking out a due date calculator recently and if we have a successful first transfer between March 1 and the first week of April we'd have an EDD between Thanksgiving and Christmas. What a wonderful way to celebrate the holidays. If we wait any longer than April though they'll have themselves a 2009 baby.

Ok, that is it for now hopefully I'll have more to report soon.

Rescheduled AGAIN!!

Ugh, our appointment with the lawyer was rescheduled again. Guess IPs lawyer still is working on their agreement. Looks like well be taking care of this next Wednesday instead now (2/13). HURRY UP and WAIT ~ HURRY UP and WAIT ~ HURRY UP and WAIT This is definitely and ongoing theme in surrogacy.

Quick Update

Well we were supposed to review contracts yesterday but my IPs lawyer didn't have the agreement ready. We had to reschedule and will now be meeting on February 6th. I'll update more after that. Once all the legal aspects are taken care of we'll move on to cycling. VERY EXCITING!!!!

You wanna know why?

A friend I'd lost touch with that had stumbled upon my blog suggested I give a little background and explain why I choose to be a surrogate. I'm not sure I can even really put into words the passion I feel in my heart but I'll do my best to give a brief history.

For years I've thought it would be so very neat to be a surrogate but thought it was something women did for a friend or family member. I'd watched the Lifetime movies and TLC stories and was touched but I was content to wait to see if that moment ever came that someone I loved needed me.

Well the opportunity presented itself and I was very excited to think about the possibility. My brother began dating a woman who had a partial hysterectomy due to endometriosis and the conversation arose between my mom and brother about me being their gestational carrier "if" they ever chose to have children. I started doing some research despite the fact that neither my brother or his girlfriend ever spoke directly with me about it. Not long after this all came about we got pregnant with a child of our own and I didn't give much thought to it again. Our daughter was born, and as time passed my brothers request fizzled and seemed less and less likely to ever come to fruition.

About the time Isabelle was 6 months old I happened to stumble across an agency website and began to really ponder doing this for strangers. Jason, who wasn't very supportive of me doing it for my brother was strangely enough very supportive of pursuing the process with the help of an agency. We talked about it a few times and not long after that I was getting in touch with Zara at Family Source Consultants. Honestly I think at this point he was just happy I didn't want to have anymore of our own children.

Well...that is in a nutshell what lead me to this point and I'll continue by describing why I ultimately decided to seriously pursue my dream.

My motivation comes out of passion and a heartfelt sincerity for those that can't have children of their own and some of it comes from my own personal desires.

Over my years as a member and host at Parenthood.com, a popular parenting message board, I meet some wonderful woman struggling with infertility. I always felt so helpless, only able to offer prayers of comfort and words of hope. Being a surrogate is enabling me to be proactive and do what I can to ease the heartache of someone longing for a child. I am so passionate about that aspect of the journey and can't wait for the day that God willing, A&T are holding their new son or daughter. The emotional aspect of this journey is just amazing to think about.

From another perspective, I've loved the last 14 years of my life building a family and am a bit saddened to think that part is over but, at the same time have no desire to have more children. This opportunity is perfect for fulfilling that void left there. I have been fortunate to have easy and enjoyable pregnancies, even deliveries for that matter, and can't wait to go through it all again. I'd struggled for years with the thought of either Jason or I undergoing a sterilization procedure (permanent birth control) however, now knowing I get to continue this part of my life I am now 100% comfortable with it. We did just that almost two weeks ago, hubby had the "snip snip" and I can say for the first time I had no reservations knowing what the future holds.

Not only do I get to fulfill part of my yearning but financially this will make a huge impact on my family as well. When the compensation issue comes up some get a bad taste about it all but I try not to think of it that way, I know it can be touchy for some. When it all boils down the money is trivial to the big picture but it does certainly play a part in the experience. This will provide us the means for me to hopefully stay home with our girls for the next few years while putting away money for college and enjoying time as a family in ways we've never been able to before. I'll mention at this point that I'm already thinking about doing this again, perhaps multiple times which will ultimately help in acquiring those goals.

I could go on and on...there really is so much more on my heart that has prompted me to do this. I feel very honored to be a part of this. My IPs speak of how blessed they are to have me and how grateful they are but truthfully I feel equally blessed and am so excited to be doing this for them.

I can't wait to move to the next step, we've only got contracts left to do and then there is no stopping us.

This really is a dream come true for me, and I get to help someone else fulfill their life long dream too....it really is a beautiful relationship.

Medical Screening COMPLETE!!!

I had an appointment at the RE's office today...first off can I just say that driving into Chicago no longer fills me with anxiety...today was a breeze!!! Not ready to start driving cab downtown for extra income or anything but I can get to and from the RE's no problem.

I was able to meet Dr. TurKaspa and he shared a bunch of cycling information (mostly details I already knew thanks to my AAS ladies), some IVF statistics and discussed the process in detail. I did ask him about the mock cycle and I was happy to learn, he doesn't find it necessary. He said if I wasn't responding to the medications as wanted we could freeze any embryos and change the protocol. That should speed things up considerably if we don't need to do a mock cycle. He also said he uses the progesterone suppositories vs. the injections...that was good news for me (or shall I say for my rear end....LOL). I've read about some having reactions to the suppositories though so I might need to do a bit of research.

The hysteroscopy went great, uterus checked out good and everything is a go there. It was easy peasy, maybe a bit uncomfy, a little cramping and pressure but that is it. I'm on an antibiotic for the next three days to ward off any infection since they were probing around in there but it really was rather simple.

Dr. TurKaspa said to contact him after contracts are complete so we can work on med. schedules and set a transfer date.

Next step of course is meeting with our lawyers to do agreements/contracts. I talked with our lawyer today, Jason and I were to have an appt with her coming up on the 22nd but she is still awaiting an agreement from my IPs lawyer. Depending on when an agreement is drawn up we can proceed here, however she was doubtful that would be by the 22nd so our appointment will likely be rescheduled and pushed back a bit.

That's about all to report. Very excited to be moving forward and once contracts are done it really becomes "official". Can't wait to seal the deal and be on our way to making a baby (or two) for A&T!!!

What doctor is right for this journey?

Well, quick update. I had an appointment for my cervical cultures this past week and it went great. I'll tell ya, I've been through some drama with my OB office. It is a group practice and I had a run in with one doctor in particular that was not supportive of my surrogacy at all. I won't go into detail but I'll just tell you she had a very negative reaction when I told her of my plan. I was ready to leave the clinic because of her attitude regardless of the fact that I've been going to this practice for 8 years, and the one OB on staff, that I like very much, delivered 3 of my 4 children. I didn't want to chance having to be schedule with this woman again or God forbid have her be the attending doctor at a delivery!!

Well, I needed my cultures done soon and didn't have the time to research new doctors/clinics so I went back. I agreed to be seen by the nurse practitioner and she was wonderful!!! She was so compassionate and warm and the total opposite of what I experienced on my last visit. She personally guaranteed that if I chose to stay she would provide my care along with the OB that I like. She was so excited to be apart of this journey too and is 100% willing to be cooperative with the RE's office and will work with them during the process. I was very relieved and I'm so happy to know she will be holding my hand through this exciting process. She was so sweet and as I was leaving she asked to give me a hug and said some very kind words. We were both touched and near tears when I left.

Hysterosonogram is scheduled for Wednesday. I'm a bit bummed because my IM can't join me on this visit but I think it should be fairly easy so I'll be ok. I just plan to drive into the city (Chicago) and right back home so it shouldn't be to big of a deal.

I'll be sure to post an update after my appointment. Shouldn't be to much longer and we'll be getting our med schedules and transfer date!!!